euphrosynely's ramblings

Question 14:
A project's effectiveness is measured in terms of

A. its economic relevance and economic profitability
B. the project's purpose as compared with the overall objective
C. the results achieved as compared with the project's purpose
D. the resources used as compared with the means available

I guessed C. What do you think is the right answer? I couldn't find the EU definition or EU description on project effectiveness.

Woke up at 8:30 after sleeping seven hours. After snoozing for another half hour, I jumped into the shower, had some yogurt and muesli, got dressed, left a note for the boyfriend saying I already left and didn't want to wake him and took the train to Amsterdam. I went through the '250 MCQ on Europe and European policies, 2008-2009' book again. Felt bad about myself because it was only the second time I was going through the book, whilst I should have studied more for the EPSO RELEX 2008 test. Three days ago, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to sit for this exam in the first place. I hope the last minute cramming helped, at least it used to help when I was doing my IB and all my university exams.

Reached home around noon, quickly dropped off my stuff and went to the test center, which was held at the NH Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky, probably one of the most expensive hotels in Amsterdam. Erik cynically said that he couldn't believe the European Commission would rent out the Grand Ballroom of this expensive hotel whilst they couldn't even provide for the test instruction sheets, instead asking the candidates to print it themselves. I guessed it's due to environmental reasons. And when I saw that only half of the people confirmed to attend the test showed up, I thought this was exactly the reason why the Commission asked us to print the instructions.

Three of my ex-colleagues were there to take the test as well. Caught up with them before, in between, and after the test. Two of them were trying for the Political Matters Adviser position, whilst the third colleague and I were in competition for the Operations Adviser - Good Governance and Security position. Because there were more positions available for good governance, I chose to sit the exam for that (around 60 posts for good governance, only 15 for political matters), although political matters sounds more interesting and probably matches my work experience and studies better.

The tests were gruelling. The EU test was alright, did answer most of them correctly, I think. I wasn't too sure on question 18, so I guessed answer C:
"Once the Lisbon Treaty enters into force, which of these statements will be true?"
A. The use of co-decision procedure and qualified majority voting and the role of national parliaments will increase
B. The use of co-decision procedure will decrease; the role of national parliaments and the use of qualified majority voting will increase
C. The use of co-decision procedure and the role of national parliaments will increase; the use of qualified majority voting will decrease
D. The use of co-decision procedure and qualified majority voting and the role of national parliaments will remain the same

For someone with interest in the EU enlargement, I found it very embarrassing that I wasn't too sure on the question when the EU enlarged to include 10 new member states (thankfully I did tick the right answer in the end, 2004 and not 2005).

Time went by so fast on the verbal and numerical test. Kept saying to myself that I had to hurry up, because 50 minutes for 20 verbal questions and 10 numerical is not that much. At home, I did more than ok on the numerical part, 80% right. I'll be lucky if I passed this part of the test with 60%.

I didn't prepare for the specific competency test. I didn't know what to read or go through for this test. In the end, I found out I should have read upon things like the EU's development policies, its programmes with partner countries, the Cotonou Agreement, the Ouagadougou Action Plan and learn the MDGs by heart. Was not too sure on which part of the world had the highest percentage of people living on less than one dollar per day in 2001. Is that Latin America, North Africa and the Middle East, Sub-Saharan Africa, or South-East Asia? My instincts told me it was Sub-Saharan Africa. What do you think? I'm hoping I just about got 55% correct on this part of the test, which is the minimum requirement to go to the next round.

After the test, I went for drinks and dinner with my ex-colleagues, discussed the test, talked about our careers, what we wanted from our next job, gossiped about the people we've worked with (two female colleagues screaming at each other in the corridor, calling each other bitches and whatnot whilst the male colleagues ran away from the scene...) whether we would be prepared to go to Chad, Bangladesh or Benin if we were to be successful at this EPSO competition.

Enough talk about the test. I'm looking forward to a good eight hours of sleep.

In six days, Erik and I will be taking a flight from Amsterdam to Istanbul to start our one month long travelling in Eastern Turkey, Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan and Iran. We have been planning this backpacking trip since the beginning of February, so for over six months we have been in anticipation of this big trip. This will be the longest trip for me ever, four weeks with my trusty Lowe Alpine backpack and the boyfriend. It will most probably also be the most exhausting trip ever, almost every day on the move to our next destination. I'm especially excited to go to these countries because some of them feature in my master's thesis on the European Neighbourhood Policy, and my traineeship at the European Commission is related to this trip and the thesis that I am not writing at the moment.

Anyway, I'm preparing for a concours (exam) for the European Commission call for people interested in working for any of the delegations of the European Commission all over the world. These are kind of like embassies of the EU, thus they reside outside of the EU member states. I'm not looking forward to taking this test, let alone study for it, although I have tried to study as much as possible on Europe and its policies. The most tedious, minuscule details are asked on the multiple choice question. What is the Article 133 Committee? Or what is the 'Cassis de Dijon' judgment of 1979? I have no clue how to study for this exam. It's upcoming Friday afternoon. I feel unprepared.

Back to talking about the trip, because that makes me feel much better. This is the preliminary schedule, and we probably should stick to this itinerary day by day, as it will function as a guide so that we don't linger at one place too much.

TUE 22/7
AMS 09:25 Terminal 2 - PRG 10:45
PRG 11:40 Terminal 1 - IST 15:10
Connecting flight to Trabzon from Istanbul Atatürk
IST 18:55 - TRB 20:30

WED 23/7
To Hopa for border crossing (3.5h), Sarpi another bus, sleep in Batumi or Kutaisi

THU 24/7
Batumi/Kutaisi - Tbilisi (night train Batumi-Tbilisi at 21:35, 08:25 and 10:00 (7h))
Or to Gori, Stalin's birthplace

FRI 25/7
Tbilisi

SAT 26/7
Day trip Mtskheta

SUN 27/7
Kazbegi

MON 28/7
To Armenia (twice a day bus to Yerevan (7h), train every second day (13h, sleeper)

TUE 29/7
Armenia, Yerevan (Garni-Geghard Monastery)

WED 30/7
Armenia, Yerevan (day trip to Echmiadzin, 20km west of Yerevan)

THU 31/7
Back to Tbilisi or to Telavi (2/3h from Tbilisi)

FRI 1/8
Tbilisi, chill or go to Sheki via Telavi/Lagodekhi/Balakan/Zaqatala (40min)/Sheki
See p.320 of Azerbaijan-guide

SAT 2/8
Sheki

SUN 3/8
Sheki/Baku (Baku is 7hr by bus from Sheki)

MON 4/8
Baku

TUE 5/8
Baku, to Astara/Lankaran. 6h to the border Azerbaijan/Iran, bus or (sleeper)train

WED 6/8
To Tehran (10h by bus from Astara Iranian side)

THU 7/8
Arrive in Tehran
In the evening Tehran - Shiraz

FRI 8/8
Shiraz & Persepolis

SAT 9/8
Shiraz - Yazd

SUN 10/8
Yazd

MON 11/8
Yazd - Esfahan

TUE 12/8
Esfahan

WED 13/8
Esfahan

THU 14/8
Esfahan

FRI 15/8
Esfahan - Tehran (8h by train, 10h by bus) - Tabriz (13h by train)

SAT 16/8
Tabriz - Maku (4h) - Bazargan (border) - Dogubeyazit, Turkey

SUN 17/8
Dogubeyazit (Ishak Pasha Palace) - Kars (around 4h)

MON 18/8
Ani (day trip from Kars)

TUE 19/8
Kars - Erzurum (3h by bus, 4h by train)

WED 20/8
Erzurum-Istanbul
Check in at our favourite hotel in Istanbul

THU 21/8
Spend half the day in Istanbul town, eat a fish sandwich
Fly from Istanbul back to Amsterdam


I can't believe I'm actually going to all these countries. I have been looking forward to this for so long, it seems a little surreal that this time next week, I will be in Georgia, that tiny little country fighting off Russian political influences with its separatist regions. I hope it will stay calm whilst we are in the country.

I can't stop listening to this song.



My crush on John Mayer is all coming back to me now... Celine Dion style.

Time for bed.

...of writing here again. Part of me is hesitant because I fear I want to write here again because I may be procrastinating and thus am distracting myself from my master's thesis. Another part of me wants to record my life, what I've done today, what I thought, what I said to people, what memorable messages I've received. I've been keeping a diary, jotting things down in my red Moleskine journal. But typing is much more convenient.

The things I want to write and remember are basically the same things that I've been writing down before. Here, on this forum. I've contemplated writing things down in a Word document, but I strangely feel like I want to put it out in the open, perhaps because I'm curious of what other people think of matters I am dealing with. Plus, this looks prettier than some Word document in Times New Roman, 12pt.

I think I could label myself as a pseudo-writer (I know I'm a mere blogger, but I just don't like the word 'blog'). I started writing in Singapore, when I was in boarding school. I had one at Xanga, that awful blogging website. At that time you needed an invite to have your own account at LiveJournal. All the AsianAvenue 'celebrities' moved from AA to LiveJournal. Which brings back memories, because I remember having an AA account when I was 14 years old. It was mostly catered for Asian Americans, but I enjoyed reading articles on that website. Anyway, I wrote very often during my three years in England in college. And then in Bulgaria. It was fun writing about my life in Bulgaria because it was so damn exciting. I moved there for an internship, and no one knew where I lived, what my apartment looked like, what I was doing every day, so it was nice to write about my experiences so that my friends and family could read what I was doing there.

And then I came back home. And I stopped writing. Did I run out of things to say? Or was I not doing as many exciting things as I used to? One thing that comes to mind is that I only really wrote when I was abroad. As if I only wanted to tell exciting stories from the new countries that I was discovering at the time. Although I have to admit I didn't do as much exploring in England as I should have. I still haven't been to Glastonbury, nor have I been to Wimbledon, or Liverpool, Manchester or any of the other larger cities in England other than London and Birmingham.

I'm guessing the so-called writer's bug that I had when I was in Singapore, England and Bulgaria was gone. I especially remember whining and bitching about life, love and boys when I was in England. Those posts must be awful to read now. I'm actually smiling at the thought of reading my old posts about the failed relationships or non-relationships that I had with Rick, Jack and Steffen. (NB: This is probably the first time I mention people by their full first names. I always used initials. I guess this means I don't really care about privacy anymore, although you won't be seeing any pictures of myself here.)

I think I may start writing here again. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I'm moving to Brussels to live and work there for five months come October. Somehow I landed a traineeship at the European Commission with DG EuropeAid. I'm very excited to gain work experience in the heart of the European Union. I really enjoyed writing and posting stories here about my experiences in Bulgaria. And I want to continue that. And not just when I'm abroad.

Ok, time for me to take an inventory of my closet. I am missing a pair of jeans that I bought in the fall last year, and I can't seem to remember where they are. Nor do I remember when I saw or wore them. Plus, I need to see whether I have enough shabby-ish summer clothes to bring for my one month long backpacking trip with the boyfriend through Eastern Turkey, Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan and Iran. I know I have to buy some large kaftan-like things to cover up in Iran, and long maxi skirts. Or I could just get them there. Clothes shopping in Tehran, how fashionable can that be?

It's been a lifetime since I've updated LJ. I don't think I'll post any more stories here in the near future, but I had to share this with the few of you that still have me on your LJ friends page.

The story of Kingsley really touched me. Whilst the EU is giving their immigration agency Frontex a bigger budget to combat illegal immigration from Northern Africa with the supply of helicopters, ships and manpower, people (mostly young men) from all over Africa risk their lives on the ocean for a better life in Europe, the promised continent. Do watch the video and send it to your friends as well.


from mediastorm.org

Kingsley's Crossing
Kingsley is a 23-year-old lifeguard from the West African coastal town of Limbe, Cameroon. Though he longed to be a professional footballer, French soldiers trained him to become a lifeguard, and Kingsley soon found himself working at an upscale hotel giving swimming lessons to visiting Europeans. He earned just 50 euros a month, enough to pay for food and the rented two-room house he shared with his parents and seven siblings.

"Most families in my country want their children to go to Europe," Kingsley says. It is in Europe - the new El Dorado - that African immigrants can vastly increase their incomes while also providing for their families back home. So, in May of 2004, Kingsley left Cameroon on what he calls "his mission." What followed was an excruciating six-month journey across half of Africa.

Kingsley's Crossing is the story of one man's willingness to abandon everything - his family, his country, and his friends - in the hopes of finding a better life abroad. Award-winning French photojournalist Olivier Jobard documents the passage. Watch it now.

"The Italian delegation voices its discontent with the efficiency of the management of the Commission's administrative activity, particularly regarding actions safeguarding linguistic diversity, and translations."

- an email from the Italian delegation after reaching a compromise between all the 27 EU member states.

*

To comprehend this statement, one should replace actions safeguarding linguistic diversity, and translations with "Why the hell can't we have every single European Commission document in Italian?!! Parlare Italiaaano!"

I'd say, don't work in the spheres of the European Commission, European Parliament or the Council of the European Union if you don't master English and/or French. But I gotta say, this is quite the statement the Italians are making in an email to all the EU delegations. Can't deny I wasn't laughing when reading this.

After telling him that I've been with the boyfriend for almost nine months and that it's pretty serious and that I don't want to be with anyone else other than him, he tells me that "there will be many, many, many more men in your life than your current boyfriend."

I know it's nothing and that I shouldn't pay that much attention to it, but it kind of bothered me when my male colleague (35, got married at 28, two children, third on the way) said that. Not at the time, but I briefly thought of it today. And I didn't like it. He thinks I'm not gonna last with him because I'm "too young to settle at this point."

Alright, so what that I'm not spending my twenties chasing (the wrong) guys, going out every weekend and flirting with lots of men, drinking heavily and enjoy my adolescence just because society tells me that I'm too young to settle down? So what if I prefer watching Seinfeld with the boyfriend in bed, reading in the park, cooking lots, and rarely go out and paint the town red?

Other than that, I spent the day waking up next to the boyfriend, watching two episodes of Seinfeld (God, I'm hooked), having simit, burek and ayran for breakfast, went to the market to get vegetables in the storm, argued in the car about immigrants, racism and patriotism, drove to Kinderdijk (windmill paradise for picture perfect Holland) and Gorinchem, the town where his dad was born and raised (also the town of Hendrick Hamel who accidently discovered Korea on his way to Japan), cooking dinner and exchanging many, many kisses throughout the day.

I love Saturdays like this.

[1] Go home in an hour.


[2] Give my mom a hug as I haven't seen her for two days straight due to yesterday's leaving party of my colleague and an official function that I had to attend on Wednesday evening.


[3] Have a good work out at the gym this evening. I haven't been for over a week.


[4] Plan my holiday to Poland and Ukraine.


[5] Find a cosy apartment to live in for at least a year in Amsterdam.


[6] Receive an email from the professor stating that I'm admitted to the masters programme I'm on the waiting list for. I've got a 50/50 chance, so it may well be that I'll be able to enrol this September. Fingers crossed.


[7] Find an excuse to not do this Korean-English translation job.


[8] Spend the whole weekend with the boyfriend.


[9] Convince my parents that I am old enough indeed to decide to live with the boyfriend.

Even though I'm going to resume my status as a student from September onwards.

Even though I thus am not a real money-earning citizen yet (whatever that means).

Even though I've been with him for a little less than nine months.

Even though I have been successfully living on my own for 5,5 years abroad, far far away from the home front.

Even though they know that we've been practically living together from the moment we started seeing each other.

Even though I am not married to him. As if that's a condition to be fulfilled before living with your significant other.

After the countless times of rubbing my eyes, yawning, stretching and making sleepy noises, I get out of bed, take a shower, and decide to put on my new creme coloured suit. It's gray outside, and it had rained during the night. Still, I think it's going to be manageable with the creme coloured suit, an umbrella in the hand and my bag to walk to the metro station, and then from The Hague Central Station to the office.

Wrong. Already on my way out of home to the metro station, I step on my pants that are slightly too long. Wet. Brown. Stained.

A 40 minute train ride later, I make my way to the office. It's now raining like there's no tomorrow, as if I'm in Singapore at 3pm during monsoon season. It always used to rain like hell at a few minutes before 3pm. My new creme coloured suit pants are wet to my knees. With little mud dots on them.

"Oh my, how did you get so wet? You should've taken the car, like me!"

Fuck you, lady. Can't you see I'm not really in the best of moods? I especially don't like it when people talk to me in the elevator. All the more reason for you to shut your yap.

Grrr. Not a good start of the day.

Well, actually, I don't really have any work to do for now. The activity statement on the European Neighbourhood Policy and relations with Russia that I had to scrutinize is under review at my boss. Until then, I can't do much. There is no instruction that needs to be composed for the rest of the week for my colleague in Brussels, no other urgent memoranda that need to be written for our big boss (Minister of European Affairs), nothing.

Do other people blog at their work when they're bored? I used to Facebook when I'm bored or when I wanted to take a break from work, but that's getting lame these days. Besides, I can't 'stalk' my friends forever on the Internet through Facebook, haha.

I'm bored with my work clothes. I need new shiny suits. Like that sandy/greyish suit Jodie Foster is wearing in Inside Man. I thought that was a nice suit. And I want new shoes, although I just bought a creme-coloured pair.

Did I tell you that I joined a gym? A freekin' gym, my friends couldn't believe it when I told them. They've been trying for three years to get me to join the university gym. Now I'm exercising more regularly than they are cuz they're too busy with their jobs. It's incredible, I'm actually exercising with those stupid steel machines to tighten up my muscles (what muscles?!). And I used to hate them. I still don't like them, but I've gotten into a routine and it's easy to stick to it. Twice a week is all I can do. But I do like the cross country machine because they're right in front of the tv, so I can watch bits of movies if I want to, or football. I saw 30 minutes of Good Night, and Good Luck and Inside Man, both because I was on the cross country at the time.

I'm contemplating whether I should go to Amsterdam tonight to attend the introduction of MSc Political Science, and right after that a sample lecture. It's from 6 to 8. That mean's I'll have to leave the office before 5 to get there on time, and I don't think I can make that. On the one hand I don't want to make the wrong decision and I would like to orientate myself as much as possible with these different universities and their quite similar courses, but on the other hand I just can't be bothered. I'd rather go see the boyfriend. No wait, let me correct that: I always want to see the boyfriend whenever I can.

Hmmm. I feel like a really decent espresso now. Too bad the office had CRAP COFFEE from the machine! Maybe I'm too spoiled with the boyfriend's new manual espresso machine, the Gaggia Baby Twin.

I don't know whether I should call this a dry spell or just a loooong hiatus. Got back home from Bulgaria in April, and then almost immediately started my new job, which I enjoy immensely.

But what I enjoy even more is being at home with family, being close to my boyfriend (long distance no more!), and the feeling that I don't need to pack up my stuff after a few months again to move to another country for study/work. This is my place for now, for the upcoming year and a half. And I love not feeling chased up by something or someone.

How different things have become after merely a year. Last year I finished up my final exams and went to Istanbul on my graduation trip with my closest friends, and got all excited about Bulgaria. Now I'm finishing up the preparations for the European Council for next week in Brussels, planning my holiday in Poland and Ukraine, and getting excited about the masters I'm going to do in September. I'm on the waiting list for the one that I really really really want to do. Fingers crossed that one admitted student decides not to attend anymore!

Alright, back to work now. Till the next time!

So this unannounced hiatus of mine lasted or is lasting longer than I thought it would be. I've been freakishly busy at the embassy with my paper and weekly political reports that I'm sending to the headquarters (Ministry of Foreign Affairs) that I... neglected? forgot? didn't care? about my journal anymore.

Truthfully, the whole hiatus started once I moved here. I hadn't had Internet connected to the apartment yet, and when that finally came around, I was out of the blogging mode, out of touch. It felt a little foreign. Which is weird, cuz I still enjoy writing.

When I saw the 'Update Journal' window again for the first time in months, I caught myself smiling sheepishly at the screen.

The last six months have been... have been, I don't know how to describe it. I can't seem to find the words for it.
They've been exciting.
Thrilling.
Scary.
Most definitely lots of fun.
A learning experience.

But they've also been full of love and affection. The boyfriend has a positive influence on my daily mood, on the way I smile, on the way I feel, on how many times I smile and laugh a day.

I'm done here in exactly two weeks. March 2nd is my last day here. And then I'm off travelling in the Western Balkans. Want to go to Serbia, Montenegro, Macedonia, Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and yes, also to the now turbulent Kosovo. It'll be interesting what the trilateral negotiations will hold for the future status of Kosovo. No one seems to be happy about Ahtisaari's plans.

But now it's not the time to talk about current affairs and politics. Hopefully I'll be back on LiveJournal soon. I expect this to happen in April, to be very honest. This month I'll be busy with work, next month with travelling (Western Balkans, and a week in Berlin), and then in April I should be back home. I should get that writing bug again.

So until then, take care.

It's amazing how the press here and the Bulgarian people think that people getting shot in broad daylight is the most normal thing in the world. In Thursday's BTA (the daily Bulgarian news report in English), the following item was under the heading "In Brief":

Former volleyball player Krassimir Dimitrov was shot dead in Sofia on Tuesday night, police said. He received five bullets in the back and the nape.

Short. Simple. To the point. Without any background information on who this guy was, whether there was a family statement, what his spouse said. Nothing. Like as if they're reporting that some little cat got rescued from a tree by brave firemen who put the interest of the cat first.

You hear stories about people getting killed in broad daylight in the middle of Sofia all the time. And no one really cares about it, it seems. The Bulgarian UWC people that I met in early September briefed me on how all these mafia people are getting killed here and there, as if they're pigeons getting shot by BB guns from little 6-year-old bullies. "In this country, ordinary people know they aren't the target, so they're not worried. It's the mafia that is in the mafia circuit, so if they get killed, it's their fault for being a mafia in the first place." I guess that has some element of truth in it.

Anyway. All's still very well in Sofia. The weather is crap; misty, rainy, foggy, cold, wet. Definitely November weather. I kind of miss Korea because the weather was incredibly nice (16-18 degrees, not too cold, not too hot), seeing my family and friends, and of course eating lots and lots of gorgeous Korean food every single day throughout the whooole day. Eight days really doesn't cover everything I wanted to do and everyone I wanted to see. I'll probably go back in March and tag Japan along in my two-week holiday to East Asia, my so-called home. Or something.

That's another thing. In more cosmopolitan cities and countries, when people ask me where I'm from, I automatically say Holland (ok, I know, it's actually the Netherlands, but that's such a mouthful and everyone knows Holland, although my ambassador wouldn't like it if I said Holland because "it's the Netherlands!"). Here in Sofia and more so in the rest of Bulgaria, they look at me with this confused blank stare after the word 'Holland', as if they just heard aliens have landed in their backyard. And then they ask me carefully: "No, I meant where you are really from, originally?" "Ah, ok, I'm originally from Korea but I am Dutch." The same thing happened when the Deputy Head of Mission (DHoM, my supervisor) and I went to meet the new Director-General of the NATO & International Security Department from the Bulgarian Ministry of Foreign Affairs. DHoM introduced herself first, then I introduced myself, and then I got introduced by her:
"And this is /eyewhypee/, our trainee at the embassy. She has studied in the UK and for the moment she's at the embassy assisting us with political affairs."
(DG NATO) – "Ah, very nice to meet you! But where are you from?"
"I'm from Holland."
(Insert confused blank stare) – "Uh… No, I meant where you are really from?"
"Oh, right, I'm originally from Korea."
And then DHom quickly said right after that: "But she is, in fact, Dutch and she grew up in the Netherlands."

Can it be more complicated than this? Yes, it can. But this is complicated enough and the look on people's faces in Bulgaria when you say you're from a Western country when you clearly do not look like a Caucasian makes them very confused. Perhaps if I said I was American they would understand, but that's a totally different story that I won't get into now.

Almost three months here in Sofia, almost half of my internship. Perhaps it's time for a reflection on what wise lessons I've learned both in my personal and work life.

1. NEVER put traditional Latvian balsamic liquor AND the very expensive bottle of virgin olive oil on top of the microwave when you have the kitchen windows open. You never know when the wind will pick up and suddenly make the windows open and close. When that does happen, you're in big shit. Open window by strong wind = shattered bottles of balsamic liquor and olive oil on your kitchen floor, and it looks as if your kitchen floor is a big plate with olive oil and balsamic vinegar on it for you to dip bread in before you have your delicious pasta at an Italian restaurant (I have a picture of it, maybe if I'm in a good mood I'll put it on my picture website).

2. When cleaning it, ALWAYS use old newspapers to get most of the olive oil off the floor with them. You should have at least twenty old FTs, IHTs, Sofia Echoes, NRC Handelsblads and Wall Street Journals at home so that your lovely newspapers turn oily and slippery. So slippery that you may even fall hard on your ass.

3. ALWAYS unclog the bathroom floor when you feel the water isn't getting drained fast enough so that your feet are actually under water. If you don't, you may risk being in the situation that you open the bathroom door and suddenly realize that you hear a waterfall: liters of water streaming from your bathroom floor down via the stairs to the reception hall where ALL YOUR SHOES ARE PLACED NEATLY. Shouting "NO NO NO NO NO!!" you run down the stairs naked, and replace your shoes elsewhere, making sure you pour the water out of your shoes before you replace them. It's too late for buckets at this point of time. All you can do is to get your mop and bucket and absorb all the water that you can while you stand there freezing your ass off.

4. ALWAYS make sure you have your set of keys, even if you are going out for a movie with your boyfriend and he is locking the door with his set of keys. You never know whether your keys are in the other side of the door that will make opening the door from the outside extremely difficult.
Thursday November 9th we (the boyfriend and I) had dinner at home, and then we went to see Borat at the new Mall of Sofia (Bulgaria is relatively new with the concept of 'malls' and 'department stores', only this year two new malls have opened in the capital city). Extremely funny and we were laughing our heads off especially with the wrestling scene, so much so it actually hurt to laugh so hard. Anyway, after the movie, we went back home as I was quite tired. He puts his keys in the door and tries to turn. "Is the door stuck or something?" I shrug my shoulders, thinking it's nothing. "Try to kind of pull the door towards you. That always helps opening the second lock a little smoother." But no such luck. After ten minutes trying everything to open the door, we looked at each other and came to the conclusion that I had left my keys on the other side of the door, thus we weren't able to turn the damn key the other way to open the door.

"Fuck, what am I supposed to do? It's almost midnight, I can't call my landlady now, even if I hate her, and even if I would like to wake her up in the middle of the night saying we are locked out of the apartment."
- "Maybe we can go to our neighbours downstairs and ask whether we can climb up to the balcony. I remember we left the doors open."
"Are you insane?!! Climb up from their balcony to mine? Do you know how difficult that's going to be?"
- "It's our only option. Or we need to camp outside of your door."
"Ok fine, let's hope they're home."

So we go downstairs, ring their doorbell and sheepishly explain what happened. They tell us to come in and see whether it's physically possible to get to my apartment. Suddenly, I forget about my misery and the door; their apartment is so nicely decorated with warm wooden floors, warm wooden stairs, warm everything. "Focus on the problem, this isn't the time to admire someone's apartment."
Upstairs (their apartment is two floors) we get to their balcony and the boyfriend (who wants to be renamed as 'eternal love') climbs up on the roof, assessing whether he can get to the balcony. "No chance, it's too dangerous, and I can't see anything." I vaguely remember closing the kitchen windows but still ask whether he can get to the kitchen window. "Yeah, I'm there right now but you closed the windows after cooking." Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

In the meantime, Didi (my downstairs neighbour, actual name is Diliana) calls the locksmith's emergency number and tells me the service will cost 100 leva (50 euros). "Has he gone completely mad? 100 leva? This country's average monthly income is just above that!!" I shout in disbelief. "I know, I know, but he knows you don't have any other choice, that's why he's charging you that much." Pay 100 leva or ask the boyfriend to try to get to the balcony anyhow with the risk of needing to call an ambulance ten minutes later and me calling his parents? I could imagine the conversation already: "Hi, this is /eyewhypee/, your son's girlfriend. I wish I didn't have to introduce myself this way but I need to tell you that your son fell from a six-storey building and broke his back. And the shitty part is that it's all my fault. I'm sorry." No. No no no no no. No way. So I ask the boyfriend to just come back and we'll wait for the locksmith.

After his safe arrival back to the neighbour's balcony, Didi's husband (I can't remember his name now, what kind of neighbour AM I?!!) asks whether we would like something to drink. Asking what he had, he replies with "Uh… whiskey, Kahlua, Tia Maria, vodka, Bombay Sapphire, uh… lemme see, come I'll show you what we've got," and I was given a tour of his liquor stash, while the boyfriend is enjoying his glass of whiskey and chatting to the neighbour's friend, who's an art historian. I also learn that Didi is a journalist for one of the leading Bulgarian national daily newspapers, 24 Chasa, that they've been living here for 7 years, that my landlady's two daughters live in Florence and that is why she speaks Italian, and we shared a few anecdotes with the neighbours and their friend. Secretly I was hoping the locksmith would be a little late, as we were having a brilliant time with our newly acquainted neighbours and just drinking, watching tv (tv is a novelty to me, I don't have tv at my apartment!), talking, discussing strange Bulgarian politics and whatnot. But the locksmith came within 20 minutes. "I can't believe it takes stupidity and 100leva to get to know my downstairs neighbours," I said before I left. Hopefully I'll see them around in the building more often, they're really nice people.

5. ALWAYS make sure you're wearing an extra pair of socks when you're out for a football game late in the evening.
Wednesday November 22nd, I went to see one of the most anticipated football games in Sofia ever – F.C. Barcelona VS Levski Sofia. Champions League games are always pretty fun to watch on tv, but when you are actually at the stadium with all these rowdy Levski fans, it's a totally different experience. I texted a few of my guy friends in London, Berlin and Nairobi that I was watching Barcelona live here ("3rd row, players are live size, not miniature Lego men!"), thinking that it'll be much more fun if they were here with me. I didn't expect much of the game, Levski lost 5-0 the last time from Barcelona. Nevertheless, it was fun to be watching it live amongst the Levski fans. To show some support for my adopted hometown, I wore a blue Levski scarf, which for some people was a little strange as they were looking at me with these expressions like: "What the hell is an Asian girl doing here at this stadium with a Levski scarf?!!" I was glad I wasn't in the middle of REALLY HARDCORE LEVSKI FANS. They sit at the rightside of the stadium, behind one of the goals. They actually light fireworks, burn their newspapers that they originally brought to sit on, scream their lungs out, and show their utmost support for Levski. During the game they were holding up a banner saying the following:
"Asparuhov, The Pride of Bulgaria. Stoichkov, The Whore of Catalonia."
Wondering what this meant, I texted the ever-so-jealous boyfriend, who was back home and couldn't join me for the match, asking what this meant. Apparently, Asparuhov was a legend at Levski and one of the best, if not the best, football players ever that Bulgaria produced. Stoichkov plays for CSKA, the main rival of Levski, hence the reference to him being a 'whore'. Anyway. I was hoping to perhaps sneak into the locker room and getting autographs of Van Bronckhorst, Gudjohnson, Deco (still reminds me of Speedy Gonzalez), Rijkaart, etc in the capacity of the representative of the Netherlands Embassy in Sofia to welcome the Dutch players of Barcelona, but I think after the game ended I was in dire need of a hot shower than scoring autographs of these players.

I think I have learned many more wise lessons here in Sofia, such as punching the bus tickets first before elaborately kissing on the bus with the boyfriend and then getting fined for not punching the bus tickets that you did have, or spending two hours at the biggest supermarket of Sofia and getting so much grocery that you can't actually carry it back home, but those stories I will spare for later. In terms of wise lessons on the work force… Well, everything's going really well here, and I haven't heard any complaints yet from my colleagues at the embassy, which is a good thing. I'm getting along really well with DHoM, and her kids are the cutest ever that whenever we have a function or an event where kids are allowed to come, I always ask whether her sons will come, too. She invited me to go ice skating at this old-communist skating ring with her and the family, so I'm very much looking forward to that. The fact that I haven't ice skated for, I think, around 3 years doesn't deter me. I am Dutch, and as every Dutch person, I can swim and I can skate. Or so I tell myself.

More from me towards the end of the week, I promise!

All my love, kisses, and hugs,

Your eyewhypee

PS: Tomorrow I'm turning a year older so I'm expecting lots of virtual kisses and hugs from you all. If not, I'll get the Dutch Secret Service to hunt your ass down.

Just because I'm in a new town, new country, new continent after flying 15 hours on three different flights doesn't mean that I have changed, or that the content of this journal has a different spin to it. Of course, not only will I cover the topics 'What the Hell Has Eyewhypee Been Doing In a Whole Month in Sofia Without Updating Her Journal?' and 'Fucked Up Bulgarian Presidential Candidate Siderov' but also 'How Eyewhypee's Family Is Trying to Get Her To Marry Soon' and 'Things That a 1.5-Generation Korean Finds Very Humorous in Korea' are on the agenda.

Now that I've mentioned the M-word, who the hell is this Mysterio that asked me to marry him? Or her? I mean, you never know, maybe I have a female admirer but that is totally besides the point. As a comment to my last entry, some person only identifying himself as 'Mysterio' wrote on 2 Oct 2006 20:17 hours the following message: "eyewhypee... marry me."
Right. So. Uhm. Let me give you a tip, Mysterio. If you really want some girl to marry you, then for the love of God, don't do it on the Internet. I know we live in this web-based world now where no one can leave the house without their golden handcuffs a.k.a. mobile phones and BlackBerries and where no one can live without the Internet, but proposing on the net is not the way forward.

Ok, that's done. So... Let me ask you how you guys have been. Is life as sweet for you as it is for me? I've been pretty good in Sofia. The internship is still very interesting, and the Counsellor has made me write lots of reports these days including one on the position of homosexuals in Bulgarian society, which ended up being a 4 page report covering things like the so-called underdeveloped 'pink' market, the Penal Code (sexual crimes committed by homosexuals is more severely punished than when done by heterosexuals), and the reluctant attitude of the government to make the lives for the LGBT-community better.

Hmmm... Shit. My mom just got back from her hair cut so I gotta wrap things up here. I think ShamRock and some others will be VERY pleased that today's entry is this short, but what does it matter to him anyway? He confessed he doesn't read my journal!! It came as a shock to me, but ShamRock, don't worry, I still love you! *muah*

Ok, briefly why I'm in Korea. My favourite cousin got married yesterday and with that reason I asked for a 5-day holiday from the embassy to go to Korea to attend his wedding and see my extended family. It's been good so far, I'm eating lots of Korean food, taking lots of pictures of weird things here in Korea and I'm excited to meet my friends again in Seoul.

Gotta go now to see my grandma and my uncle (dad's brother). Leave messages, they make me happy and make me want to write even more on this journal.

Love you all,

xxx eyewhypee

Beautiful photos of Sofia. I for now do not have any pictures for you to show at the moment of my place, or the city that I live in, as my camera's broke and am waiting for my mom to come with her uberfancy D-SLR that she got as a present from my dad.

Anyway, here's my latest travel journal entry:

(written on Sunday 1 October 2006, 22:34)

Thank you for all your messages so far. They contribute immensely to my state of happiness that I strangely find myself in these days. I don't know why I deserve this happiness, nor do I care for that matter.


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 1:

Bulgaria is also happy as they are officially joining the EU on 1 January 2007. No delays, but they do have quite a few so-called 'accompanying measures'. Not really safeguard clauses, but measures whereby the European Commission has asked the Bulgarian government to brief them every few months on the progress on, let's say, fight against organized crime and corruption. The first report is due on 31 March 2007, and once they report to the Commission, the latter then reports to the European Parliament and the Council of Ministers. Anyway, I wonder where I'll be on 1 January 2007. Would like to be here in Bulgaria and party with the Bulgarians (and hopefully with a few friends from home) the accession and the New Year. I'm pretty sure there'll be some party (or parties, plural's even better!) organized by the younger crowd of the Delegation of the Commission... Anyone up for that?


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 2:

I'm looking forward to a football-filled, football-crazed, football-maddened weekend. But before I tell you about this, I must say I was THIS CLOSE of getting a (black market) ticket for the Levski - Chelsea Champion's League game last Wednesday, but when a friend was just about to confirm that we wanted that ticket BADLY, it was snatched up by someone at the British embassy, I believe. Damn those Brits, they've been bugging me for the last 3 years already in the UK and they're STILL after me here in Sofia! Anyway, it was an amazing atmosphere, I heard. Too bad I couldn't witness the first Bulgarian team ever to qualify for the Champion's League and even score against Chelsea, but at least I've got the Holland - Bulgaria qualification match that I definitely will attend on October 7th, this Saturday! The whole embassy is going, and 7,000 supporters from Holland are expected to come to Sofia. Looking forward to a (football-filled) weekend!


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 3:

I finally got my stuff on Friday! After all the papers, the approval from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs - Consular Section, the clearance we got from customs that my stuff is INDEED diplomatic cargo, delivering those papers to TNT and the final call to TNT confirming that they can deliver it to me on Friday, I now have officially, officially, officially moved in! The packing before I went to Sofia was madness: first the stuff I shipped from England to Holland. Unpack, pack, and repack was the only thing I did for the last week before my due date to Sofia. But it was all worth it - now I can cook with my own stuff, I sleep with my own duvets and pillows, and I got lots and lots and lots of Korean food essentials from my mom. This is the sixth year that I live out of home without my parents, but I am still looked after carefully with a survival kit like this including 2 big bags of rice, brown rice, sweet rice, soy sauce, cooking sauce, fish stock, etc etc. So for those of you who are still coming to Sofia, not only will you sleep in the finest sheets you'll ever feel on your skin, you'll also be treated to Korean home-cooked meals in the Balkans. Now where else will you get such hospitality, right?


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 4:

I'm meeting more and more new people to hang out with. The ones I hang out the most, though, is the Danish intern that I met 2 weeks ago, and he's a cool guy to have a drink with and a laugh. The German intern's also good company, and so is my ever-so-lovely Juliette. Last Friday, I met two Italian interns from the (obviously) Italian embassy, and they seem to be people with whom I can check out the international DJ line-ups at Sofian clubs. With Juliette I checked out Satoshi Tomie at Chervilo (a club called Lipstick, popular place for maffia and not so maffia but would like to dress like them and wear sunglasses in clubs like them crowd). The Japanese DJ was ridiculously good, and the cool thing was that I got free drinks from the bartender cuz he thought I was his sister, haha!


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 5:

My supervisor, the Counsellor, invited me to come with her and her family to a ballet performance at the National Opera last Saturday. Being the ubergeek and culture snob that I seem to be, I obviously said yes yes yes, I'll come, and joined them on Saturday evening for 2.5 hours of pure enjoyment. It was the opening performance of the season, and the ballet dancers were performing on the music by Prokofiev, Rachmaninov, and Stravinsky. Unfortunately, I don't know much about classical music, but Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring was soooooo cool. The spider was very very good, and the whole decor was in the spring theme - lots of oversized giant flowers, a giant frog, and a giant spiderweb, as the ballet dancers were ants, crickets, grasshoppers, and other little insects. My supervisor's kids are adorable - they're 8 and 5, and the five-year-old is such a cutie. He loved it, and when his older brother wanted to go home after the second one because he was tired, he said he wanted to stay because he's having such a good time, and that he "like[s] the music!" When he said goodbye at the car park, I asked him: "How should we say goodbye? You want a hand shake, kisses on the cheeks, or a hug?" Sheepishly, he said a hand shake but he promised a hug the next time we see each other.


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 6:

I hiked in the Vitosha Mountain on a beautiful, gorgeous, sunny eh... Sunday. A friend and I walked to town to the Palace of Justice, where tram no. 5 goes to Ovcha Kupel bus station. Dutifully, we buy tickets for the tram, and wait for no. 5 to pass by. I remember no. 19 going there as well, so when that one came first, we asked the tram driver whether he was going to Ovcha Kupel. "Ne," was his stern answer. "Maybe it's no. 9 then that goes there." After waiting for almost half an hour, we get a little suspicious. How come is tram 5 not coming around?!! The last time when I was waiting for a different tram, the no. 5 passed by at least once every 5 or 6 minutes. Turns out, tram pet ('five') doesn't run today but tram 19 DOES INDEED go to the bus station. What the hell?!! At that point, my friend and I felt really sheepish and stupid. We both think we're such seasoned travellers (he backpacked through most of Asia and he knows Eastern Europe by heart!) and we figure out 30 minutes later that tram 19 (that conveniently passed by TWICE!!) does go to the bus station.

Once we get to the bus station, after a few not so decent words and feeling disappointed in myself, we have a difficult time knowing which minibus to take to Zlatni Mostove (Golden Bridges) on the Vitosha Mountain. That's the thing in Bulgaria that I cannot appreciate: people who work for bus companies, or in public transportation do not know their stuff that they're supposed to know as ticket officer or bus driver. Uninterested, they tell us that they don't know. First in Bulgarian, then in despair they yell out I DON'T KNOW. Ok ok, take it easy. So after 30-40 minutes, we finally find out that minibus no. 10 will take us to our destination from a random person on the street. "Stand at that big junction and flag the minibus down with no. 10 clearly marked at the front." Thanks to him, we then stand at the junction we were before 5 minutes ago when we were trying to find out for the longest time whether there'll be a bus, ANY BUS, that could take us up to the mountain.

You don't know how happy my friend was when he spotted the no. 10. We get in, pay 1.50 leva each (75 eurocent!!), and fifteen minutes later we're somewhere in the mountain called Zlatni Mostove (Golden Bridges, beautiful picture here). For the rest of the day, we stroll around in the mountain from here to there, sit in the sun, breathe FRESH AIR, be thankful that we escaped the city, have a coffee, and enjoy the view of the whole of Sofia. This is another thing I do like about Sofia: in half an hour, you can escape the city with its dirty air, lots of cars, the street noise, etc, for fresh air, beautiful scenery, and peace and quiet that one needs once in a while.

Dinner was at a well-renowned Serbian restaurant called Pri Miro that is a one minute walk from my apartment! Yummy fish soup, pepper and aubergine mash with hot Serbian bread, Serbian cabbage dumplings stuffed with meat, a big salad to share, and a 'pljeskavica' (Serbian burger) only set us back 10 euros. All that for 10 euros is NOTHING. I feel retarded for paying 30 pounds at a so-called fancy restaurant in London (ok, Hakkasan is fancy actually). Why did I do that, I wonder... Anyway, this dinner should probably be REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 6B, and 6A being the hike up in the mountain.


REASON TO BE HAPPY NO. 7:

Still enjoying my internship, and it's only getting better and better. Bulgarian foreign policy is so interesting, especially now that they're joining the EU. What will their contribution be to the Common Foreign and Security Policy? Will they be very vocal and put pressure within the EU for the EU to make promises of accession for Albania, Macedonia, Serbia and other Western Balkan countries? Will the EU develop better relations with Russia and Ukraine now that Bulgaria is about to become an EU-member state? Attending these seminars and lectures, hearing distinguished scholars speak about the stabilizing (or not so stabilizing) situation in the Western Balkan and especially in relation to Kosovo, meeting other diplomats and sharing our views on these topics, and meeting Bulgarian high-profile ministers such as Meglena Kuneva (Minister for European Affairs, in the run for the Bulgarian European Commissioner position) is all very exciting. I'm learning lots, I'm actually using my brain for once at work after the tedious, mindblowingly boring internships that I've had at an investment bank and accounting firm for the past two summers, and every day I do what I love doing in my spare time anyway: reading the news, reading about foreign policy of countries that I'm interested in, and discussing this with people.

That's all for now, folks. Remember, the more messages, the happier I get.

Love & xxx,

eyewhypee

Not having regular mindless Internet access 24/7 for a whole month does something to a person.

First, I now notice that LiveJournal has changed its lay-out.

Second, my friend's LJ's lay-out also changed, and it's prettier now!

Third, you miss out on reading about huge events like that Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, had died. What the hell, I thought, when I read this article. Stabbed by a stingray? Then I had to read what they had written on the day he died, September 4th.

But I am now far more up-to-date on the EU accession stuff, went to the European Commission's official presentation on the Monitoring Report yesterday at the Sheraton Hotel in Sofia, and on developments in Bulgaria in general.

The past month has been very good for me so far. Been having a lot of time, a lot of fun, meeting a lot of people, and I've met someone as well. It came out of no where. I did not expect things to happen like this, or that we would feel this way for one another, because it's a rather... unusual situation how we know and how we've met. We went away to Belogradchik for a weekend, but it was more than clear the days before that weekend that, you know, we both had an interest in each other.

I can't complain about Sofia besides the rain and the cold, and the sudden change of weather. The sudden changes in life have been good, though.

And I'm happy. Incredibly happy. It's an I-cannot-explain-this-state-of-mind happy. Let us all wait and see how long this will last. The jet-setting, 'globalized' life ain't good for my love life. Now, which one is more important is the question...

So I was thinking of separating the two journals, but whatev. The original post is here. I miss LJ-ing, I miss reading your journals, I miss my online life, however SAD and PATHETIC that sounds. But, it got heavily compensated with an amazing internship, the great time I've had so far at the embassy and Sofia, and the wonderful people I've met so far. Hope you are all well, my LJ-friends.

Leave messages, either here or at the actual travel journal!


--

Contrary to popular belief, I have not died ('HELLOOO have u died???'), nor have I been kidnapped and held ransom for money ('seriously concerned - I don't trust Bulgaria.'), nor did I forget about you or this travel journal, nor did I slip off one of the rocks at Belogradchik and broke my leg, or any other scary things that may happen to a person. Bulgaria is (relatively) safe, although this may go against the view of some people reading this journal, Sofia is also (relatively) safe, and I am alive and well!

Lots of things have happened since the last time I wrote. I feel so guilty that lots of people, the darlings in London, Kenya, Hong Kong, Bolivia, and some other random places, were worried about me when, in fact, I am having the time of my life. Good news (or bad news, depending on your view) is that I no longer moo anymore at the supermarket. Milk is 'mylako' without me having to moo followed by the motion of drinking. I point less to things and say more words, and get the same result, which is fantastic. I no longer guess whether that's pork or beef or both.

To get a good overview of what I have been doing, saying, thinking, experiencing, and everything else around it, here's a list for you to check out.


I HAVE BEEN THOUGHT OF BY BULGARIANS AND NON-BULGARIANS AS THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

1. A kung fu master.
A bald Bulgarian guy was making kung fu noises when I was in line for the toilet at a club in Sofia, pairing the ever-so-loud noises with hand motions a la Bruce Lee. "Very funny," I said, in a rather mocking I-am-not-interested-in-you-so-leave-me-alone-tone. Then he shouts: "It's a joke, dear." Rolling my eyes, I thought I had shaken off this guy when I hear him shout from the top of his lungs: "I AM SPEAKING TO A JAPANESE KUNG FU GIRL IN EEEEENGLIIIIIISH!!!!!!!!"

2. A rich Chinese girl who's here with her flashy Chinese boyfriend from a dodgy Chinese company.
First, they speak to you in the ever-so-limited Chinese that they know: "Ni hao." Ok, truth to be told, that is the only Chinese I know as well, which leads me to utter the words "I'm not Chinese," with an accompanying glance that should convey the message LEAVE ME ALONE. Instead, that message doesn't seem to translate in Bulgarian, so they go on: "Chinese? No? Yes? Ne? Da?" Coincidentally, there's a Chinese man standing 5 to 7 meters away from me, so then the guy points at him and asks: "Husband? Boyfriend? Rich, yes?" I seriously doubt whether emancipation is well-established here.

3. An Asian girl who is not American but sounds American but interns at a European Union member state's embassy.
Granted, I am thought to be rather weird when they are trying to place me where I'm from. It's a tiresome, continuous thing that I can't shake off. The expat circles are rather small here, so word gets spread around quicker than fire and quicker than at university where some students spend more time gossiping and being up to date on the latest who-pulled-who-and-who-went-home-with-who news than being up to date on the latest who-bombed-who-and-who's-giving-aid news, to give you a small example. Anyway, so I'm at a German intern's farewell dinner, and people trickle into the restaurant. Before I could even open my mouth to say hello to the new people, one of them shakes my hand and says: "Yes, I know who you are. You must be the new Dutch intern." Yes, that's correct, do you happen to know my birthday as well?

( BUT ACTUALLY I HAVE ADOPTED THE FOLLOWING ROLES THE PAST FEW WEEKS )

I had a dream a few days ago where I was sitting in a bus with friends when all of a sudden a bomb is thrown into it through the windows. It just so happened to land right beside me out of all the passengers. Scared and not knowing what to do, we just laid flat on the floor and waited for something to happen, or someone to lead us all.

It turns out it was just a scare. The bomb turned into a portable dvd player which played a video message from a militant/terrorist group, perhaps Hezbollah or Al'Qaida, saying that we should leave the country as soon as possible before they shoot us, bomb us, or kill us maliciously. What country we were in, I don't know, but I thought we were in a Western European country.

The next segment of the dream, I went to talk to a psychologist. On her couch, I told her about the bomb scare, and about my love life, the guys I meet, the friends I have, the dreams I have of my future. She listens carefully, and after a long pause, she nods, looks at me and says:

"You have no hope."

I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Which I told her in those exact words. But then, I got a rush of sad emotions through my body, as if they were taking over every little organ, and every little blood vessel, pumping blood within me that just screamed with every heart beat YOU HAVE NO HOPE.

I cried in the dream. A lot. And I was aware in my sleep that I was also crying for real.

When I woke up and my mom came into my room to just go through our plans for the day, she asked me whether I had been crying. No no, I just yawned and my eyes got teary.

Why I didn't tell her, I don't know. Maybe I was ashamed to admit that perhaps my subconscious me is telling me that I have no hope. In real life, I think I have hope. People tell me I'm too utopian when it comes to world politics and the UN, as you all know. But in my personal life, do I have hope? Hope in my life, hope in love?

It was the coldest, harshest message I heard someone say to me in my face for a long time. Doesn't matter it happened in a dream, it really wasn't pleasant to hear that about myself.

The little 3-year-old Korean girl, MC, who lives across the street gets more and more adorable. She's now attending the American International School, and proudly tells me she goes to the "English school every day instead of the Dutch pre-kindergarten."

My mom introduced her to a very cute and tomboyish Japanese girl called Mayu before both of them went to school for the first time. They are now apparently really good friends, and MC couldn't stop speaking mock-Japanese at the dinner table the other evening. The funny thing is that the tone alternations are exactly like Mayu's. I wonder if Mayu was speaking mock-Korean today at her dinner table to her parents.

*

Last night, my mom was watching a popular Korean tv show called 연예가중계 on the Internet. Whilst watching, she spotted this tall guy wearing a woolen hat that looked an awful lot like the one my brother has, too.

Upon close examination (or rather frantically rubbing her eyes, pinching herself and making sure she wasn't dreaming), she screamed for me to come and see this. I couldn't believe it. It was my brother in Seoul's Apkujeong, standing next to 신애라 telling her in Dutch how beautiful she is.

Imagine you're watching television, and out of nowhere your mother or father or sister or brother featured in that exact programme you were watching without having any prior ideas about it. We must've watched that brief segment about a dozen times, still in disbelief that it was actually him. If you want to see what my little brother looks like, watch the video here, click on episode 1134 of August 12th, and watch from the 45th minute onwards. The dude in the grey/dark green woolen hat is my bro.

*

The long weekend in London has started and I realized I missed this city more than I thought I did. Never mind the high living costs, the drunken people sleeping on the streets at night, the urine stench at every single bus stop, and the annoying high terror alert that causes major disruptions at UK airports. I love love love this city. Walking along the South Bank on a sunny day, visiting the numerous museums, pick-nicking in Regent's or Hyde Park, getting fresh vegetables and fruit at Portobello Market on a Saturday morning. All things I'll miss dearly.

But I can't wait for my next destination. In 12 days, I'll become a foreign resident in the capital city of an ex-communist state. I'm looking forward to making that city my city, just the way I did with London.